Missing Your College Age Kid and Making That Work !

Do you miss your child who has gone away to College or grown up and moved out?  I still miss mine terribly, even after more than a year.  The message I get from people implies I shouldn’t though, they say “Aren’t you happy for him?” and “You must be so proud that he’s making it on his own.” I am happy for him, I am incredibly proud of him. He has navigated the beginning of his adult life beautifully with the best parts of his innate nature and ability fully intact. The need to completely acknowledge and experience the loss of his physical presence in our daily lives is a process, and one that is critical for forming the basis of a lasting relationship with him for the future.  His sister felt his absence most profoundly at times, and has learned through the use of phone, text and email that she can continue to rely on him for his love and support.  It took time though, and they are still figuring out how to make that work.  So we continue in this process together, without the sharp pain I felt when he first went away, but always a tender spot for the young boy I miss and love. I think that’s ok though, and so does he according to our conversations which continue weekly and have a very different tone than before, but are still filled with love.

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