So there are two things that I have learned in the past two months. Probably more really, but two that stick out. My son’s generation, I think not just my son, prefer texts as a form of communication and I do not. So calling him is like beating my head against a brick wall. I tried it for a while, but not effective and super frustrating as well as sometimes painful. Next, he has a lot of other people. Most if not all of those people want/need something from him, expect things from him. I can now be the person in his life that doesn’t expect anything. I send a message, I text or email, then I sign off, “No need to reply, I love you.” It’s very freeing. We set a time each week to communicate so he and I can rely on that. The rest is just gravy. Suddenly he is communicating more freely and often with me, no expectations, it’s very cool. When he was living at home, communication was at time strained, but daily interaction made it easier to pass info on, give non verbal cues and messages, there was physical contact and nuance. So in this newly minted relationship, as we both take it out for a spin, there are other bene’s. Like trading up a car, finding out you don’t like the cup holders as much, but realizing there is way more leg room and the dashboard is arranged the way you always wanted it 😉
2 thoughts on “Interesting topic, communication with a college age child.”
Great college Mom blog! Great idea. I should end my texts that way. Biggest thing it would help me with is not hoping for a reply.
After Sam and I talked about it we realized it felt good for him and me. When the obligations for both he and I were lifted, he didn’t need to respond to me unless I specifically said so, and I didn’t need to check that things were happening, it was just so much easier to communicate. It seems so obvious in some ways, but it’s hard to make that transition to the same love but different language and roles.