Some good, some bad and some truly ugly :-(

I have a temper, butI have gotten better in recent years I believe.  Menopause has sort of ramped it up again I think.  Though it’s not really fair to blame it on that.  I yelled at my daughter this morning, and I just can’t get it out of my head.  All the parenting advice, yelling at your kids harms them emotionally by undermining their sense of self and self esteem.  I’ve read all the articles, some of them in professional journals that I subscribe to. I am a child and family counselor with a social work degree.  It makes me feel like crap, and it doesn’t help the situation (this time the situation is getting out in the morning), and it makes my child feel like crap.  That being said, yelling will happen. In every relationship it’s bound to happen at some point.  I think it’s an unrealistic goal to try and stop completely.  I recall recently my oldest child was upset and yelling, and I was about to react, then he clarified. “Not you, this is not about you.  It’s about  . . . “.  I held back, let him work it out, then we talked (still not ok to misdirect his yelling at me but we talked).  If I could be more specific about what frustrates me, allow myself to be frustrated or angry, and yet articulate about what is making me feel that, it might put the brakes on the situation and tame the beast known as angry Mom.  She’s not around too often, but I really work to keep her visits infrequent and short. (Like any other unwanted household guest.)

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