Be Together, Don’t Grow Together

The London Eye, 2016

I can’t believe I haven’t posted in over a year. But I’m back and hopefully I will get in the habit of regular posts. I think it helps clear out my brain and what not. Hopefully some of it is relevant, meaningful or useful for others as well. So I focus mostly on family in my blog, hence the title. Reflections on parenting primarily. This series of posts is about the relationship between my partner and I, since I have after all been doing that even longer than I have been parenting. Although I should say I don’t like the word partner, too much like a business contract. And I am not completely comfortable with any word really, they all either over define me in relationship to someone else or lack the clarity of definition that encompasses the vastness and wonder of what we have created after 30 years. So I guess I would start by saying he’s my Andy, something and someone unique to me and with me. Our relationship is equally amazing, painful, joyous, painful, charming, frustrating, and sooooo much more. It moves and changes, we have moved and changed, and maybe that’s the one element that doesn’t change. It’s all a very messy and in the aggregate incredibly marvelous work in progress. When my mother in law performed the ceremony in a friend’s garden years ago she said “Be together, don’t grow together” I think we have accomplished that and some more, allowing of course for upkeep and improvements.

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