Families Grow-Grow With Your Family

The Holidays: Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanza, and so many others are all about Family. The community of family, the love, the rituals and traditions. Some spiritual, some cultural, and some are super special and specific to your own family. With two grown children, and facing a new chapter in my own development, I realize it’s time to let go of some of those old traditions and rituals and weave new ones, that retain who are are and honor who we are becoming as we change individually and as a family. Change can be really hard, communication is key to ease that change. The reward or the payoff for change, when everyone is a part of that communication, is buy in and building sustainable family connections.

Top 5 Tips to Grow With Your Family

  1. When family traditions are changing communicate with all the people who are involved, young and old, to make sure they have awareness and feel heard regarding the changes.
  2. Listening to everyone, making them feel heard, does not mean you need to please everyone. Some people will not want the change, and that’s ok.
  3. Changes should not be based on how we want to effect others, but on what is best for you and your family. That is not selfish, it is honest and healthy. Cardinal Rule: You can’t change how other people feel or what they do, you can only affect change for yourself and your own behavior.
  4. Change is an OPPORTUNITY! Make new traditions (back to my first point, get people’s input). There may be things you and others in your family have always wanted to do but they didn’t have the chance to because of the way things have always been done.
  5. Keep the best and drop the rest. Our faith, our traditions, our culture are the cornerstone of who we are and that is key. Take the most pivotal elements of that, really think about what that means, and then as the song goes “let it go, let it go” when it comes to what really doesn’t matter.

Tip #5 is an exercise that we can all do year round. Reminding ourselves why we cook for 3 days straight, or spend months finding just the right gift for someone we love, or fast for a period; can help us remember what matters most for ourselves, families and others.


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