In an increasingly polarized society, the maxim of agreeing to disagree has become almost impossible for me at times. Issues that matter a great deal to me, and those I know and love near and far, can become the topic of very uncomfortable conversations with close neighbors and even people in my own family. If I believe in acceptance and inclusion of all people in my world, it will include those that do not agree with me. And here comes the but the tipping point, right? Except when they question my way of life or those I love. Except when they question my decisions and my judgement. Nope, it can’t be that easy. Trying to physically harm me or others, there’s no question. Trying to impose beliefs contrary to mine on me, and legislate me away, not up for discussion. When I was in college 20 years ago, I had friends who I would stay up late arguing with, they held very different beliefs and views than me, and it was important to expose myself to that to learn and grow. I hope it felt the same way for them, not threatening but challenging. What a narrow world it becomes when we only associate with people exactly like us. I believe strongly in the open examination of history, including the ugliest parts of who we have been, because you don’t get past something or prevent it from happening again until you own it and talk about it. I was recently schooled by a friend of mine for saying something completely sexist. Me, a very vocal and educated third wave feminist! It was even more preposterous that said friend called me out since he’s a male. After I cooled down, I concluded he was right. There is no place for intolerance, for exclusion, for hate. There is no justification for trying to legislate someone away or pervert justice to deny their basic human rights. If I continue my path to be the best person I can be, that includes listening and hearing what I don’t want to as well as what I do. And balancing that with giving as well as requiring respect and dignity. Discourse and dialogue everywhere have been hi-jacked, to suit the needs of a few people who want the majority to remain arguing within themselves rather than listening and tackling real problems. If we are only talking through or over each other, if we falsely argue in favor of our own rights as if they are part of a limited pie and when you get any that means there is less for me. My son gently reminded me, when I was busy making an important point and talking over him, “Mom, remember to make space and take space.” True, very true, and fitting my own son should remind me.
LIFE, FAMILY and FUN 